Binary Binching

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Sometimes I'll think until I fall asleep early in the morning. I've been thinking about my future - where my passion lies, things I would really want to do and many other personal matters.

Up till now, I'm still unsure to where my passion really lies. I've tried coming out with a list of where my passion could be and managed to converge to two jobs I'd like the most but are somehow they are conflicting, in terms of the area of expertise required. That left me completely baffled and lost. Here are the top three in the list I created (in no running order of favour)

1. Hardware Engineering.

I fell in love with my first computer when my family was given one by an uncle (who happen to find it quite useless at that time). It was a boxy Pentium machine running at 66MHz (turbo-charged to 100Mhz) and it was hooked to the latest Windows 3.11 Operating System. That was back in 1994 and I had just turned ten. I still remember those days, opening up the impenetrable metal chassis (with the permission of my brother) to see how it worked from the inside. I was amazed! Then when Duke Nukem 3D came along, I had to hack my brother's password (the game or probably Windows had a bad way of dealing with passwords, i.e no encryption) by snooping into the game's directory in DOS. The password was to unlock the Adult contents of the game. LOL.

Up till now, I've always loved computers and the limitless possibilities it can bring. This is especially so if you put your creative juices is designing something useful and innovative. And my ultimate goal if I'm in this industry is to be a part of something big - an innovative product/idea/invention that would change how people live in the future. Other than that, I hope that I can contribute to society positively.

2. Working for Discovery Channel/Nat Geo

I've always loved nature. The vast green pastures, dense tropical rain forests, the marvelous meandering rivers or the towering snow capped mountains - you name it, I love them! I find that the mechanism of Earth itself to be damn beautiful. It's amazing how every part of earth's system works in tandem with another - hence explains our Earthly phenomenon and also to make it habitable for Man.

And I find it so cool to be on an educational television programs (I love Discovery!) giving my thoughts/views pertaining to the issue at hand. Actually, I don't mind just being a photographer for National Geographic or even the new Discovery Channel Magazines. LOL.


Enough said. However, I feel that at times, fear grappling me and holding me back. I guess I have the necessary directions but I'm afraid to take the next step. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because I'm afraid to fail. I hated the feeling of failure, tough I know it is part and parcel of learning. Other than fear, it could be that there are some things that are holding me back - family, love, the comfort zone that I'm living in now. There isn't much reason to break away and live my dreams.

But somehow, I know that when the time comes, I would want it badly and I will strive for it. I know that just by doing something for the sake of money or stability, I'd not last long. I need something to spur me on every time I feel jaded. And I think this "thing" could only lie in whatever passion I have for the work I'll be doing in the future.

I'll keeping my options open for now.

Whenever I'm bored and surfed every possible website I could, I'd turn to STOMP for a guaranteed source of entertainment. However after browsing several pages, I noticed a pattern of similar post. And I exclaimed to myself, HOLY SHIT! Thereafter, I thanked to the Heavens that STOMP wasn't around when I was still in school.

You see, I live in the east side of Singapore and my Alma Mater was somewhere at the other end of the island. Since school was far and the journey to school was a tad long unbearable journey (especially if you don't get seats on the train at 630 a.m. in the morning), I'll spend my time sleeping no matter if I had seats or not (well, sometimes I''d spend the commuting time finishing up my tutorials).

Therefore, if I did not get a seat, I would sleep sitting down at the opposite site of the train where the doors are permanently closed (except when the train is at Raffles). Well, if STOMP was around, I'd end up like him or this guy (ok, maybe not that extreme) or this poor tired chap or this guy or even these girls.

You see, most of the time, I don't find myself "hogging" space on the MRT because the place where I usually sleep don't block people coming in or going out (I'd wake up at City Hall and stand up when at Raffles Place). My sitting position don't occupy 4 people's worth of standing spaces (not even 2 for that matter), thus I don't see why it's a big deal. Unless the train is extremely packed, I'd stand up because I'd feel uncomfortable too. Otherwise, I'll be in dreamland!

Anyway, Thank God that STOMP isn't around when I was in school. Otherwise, my face together with my uniform will be "sexposed" by these noting-better-to-do unique Singporeans. Oh well. =x

Every dollar spent on the ticket was worth it! Although we came for a Singaporean victory, we were pretty happy at how the Lions played last night (despite some blatant mistakes). In the past several years of Singapore soccer, I have never seen the Lions attack so ferociously. Khairul Amri was amazing that night. Fast-footed, he sliced through the Uzbek's defence like a Ginsu knife. Amazing!



Since the past Asian Cup, the Lions have been touted the "come back kids" and coming back is what they do everytime they concede a goal. That was what happened last night too. The fighting spirit of the Lions kept their fans at the edge of their seats. Well, at least for the first half-an-hour. Thereafter, a series of mistakes by a particular someone ("3") caused the Lions their morale and subsequently, their victory.



Their passing was superb at the beginning. Maybe it was their tired legs or their dishearten emotions; the Lions were making too many mistakes in the second half. The Lion's defence was so easily crumbled by the Uzbeks. They found a weakness. The Lions weakness was defending Baihakki Khaizan's flank. A was out-ran, tricked and out smarted. Gosh. It was painful to see everytime the Uzbeks attack at his flank. It was like a near 70% chance of getting a goal and 90% chance of a shot on target!

The final score was Uzbekistan 7, Singapore 3. Although we lost, at least we bagged in 3 goals into the Uzbek's net. We've done what the Indonesian, Malaysian, China and even Saudis couldn't do. Saudi Arabia (Asian's football giant) lost 3-0 to the Uzbeks. Singapore is still in second place on the tournament table. Thus, I must say that Singapore do still stand a chance against the Saudis next Saturday (14/06) at the Kallang stadium.

Work on the defence fellas! Give the Saudis a fight that they will remember.

Looking at the amount of publicity made, I was kinda surprised why the stack of tickets that are available for this match is still considerably thick? Aren't Singaporeans eager to watch the Lions battle it out for the top 10 places in the World Cup qualifying round?

I'm going down later to watch the match. For those who are still considering to watch the game, be reminded that it'll start at around 7.30 p.m. at the Kallang Stadium. Don't ask me why it's held at the Kallang Stadium (I thought it is under renovation or some sort). But I'm hoping for a splendid atmosphere. And remember to come in RED!

Side tracking for a wee bit. I got my last semester's results and I'm quite happy with it. I didn't improve much but with my initial fear of doing badly for one or two modules, I was kinda surprised when the results came out alright. Currently, I'm in the process of finalizing my FYP choices. I've filtered the hundred odd choices to about fifteen or so. There're several topics which I found relatively interesting. I'll post them sometime later.

Cheers!

Will it end with me feeling blue? Or will I be overjoyed at the end of today? Two more hours to go before the verdict comes out!

I'm so shit-scared. Today is the release of my examination results.

My plan was to set aside time for me to relax after an intense semester. Now that I'm ending my month of relaxation, it is time to get some real work done. Firstly, I would need to get a job. Whatever job it maybe, it has to pay decently and able to let me off in about two month time. I have to start blogging seriously again as my blog traffic have been dropping for the past several month.

I'm also in the midst of choosing my FYP project. It's interesting yet quite scary at the same time. One reason is probably the expectations of the projects that are presented to us. Most of them requires a high degree of specialized skills or skills on some program/topic that I wasn't taught thoroughly. Thus, I guess it's time to pick up a book or two to refresh and re-learn what I probably need for my FYP. I know this sounds insane but we'll see if I will really do this. haha..

I love holidays. They are so carefree!!! wooohooo!

Since I'll be graduating next year (hopefully), this holiday will probably be the last time I'll ever get a 3 month chunk of needed rest. The burning question is, should I relax or should I find some work to do?

Let's look at the latter option. For the past holidays, I spent most of my free time working. One of the key factors that spurred me to look for a part-time job is money (or the lack of money). Furthermore, work also kept me sane. I'm someone who is constantly on my feet. Slacking around will make me go crazy and I'll feel lethargic all day long.

But somehow I do feel that I need the rest. During the grueling semester, I've always thought of sitting somewhere (on my sofa, by the beach, etc), enjoying the company of a book or having a ball of a time with friends and loved ones. I miss the smell of the sea, the cooling sea-breeze and the feeling that I've got no school/work commitments to fulfill tomorrow! Hence, this brings me to the earlier option.

When you look at what I've done for the past half-a-year, I think most will conclude that I need time to relax. Maybe spend a couple of weeks backpacking (which I totally want to do) or just relax at somewhere away from the city. Continuing my streak of holiday-less years, I fear that I'll be burnt-out pretty soon. And I hate that feeling of being burnt-out. I had it once last year and I nearly spent my whole few weeks before the exams doing anything but study. My grades reflected on how much I break I needed to take. Sadly, I didn't take much of a break after that semester before I started working as a part-time technician.

But one thing that is keeping me from taking a long break is the lack of money and the need to "do something" (paradox?).

I've given much thought on this burning question. I've decided that I could not go without work but I should take some time to relax. But how?

Well, I'll leave the whole of May for relaxation and recreation time while I finish my reservist cycle (reservist can be considered as rest and relax, lol). By the end of May, I'll spend my time to slowly look for some part-time job that will last me through June and probably till mid-July. In the meantime, I have several things that I need to do (other than the highest priority of spending time with Mer of course!).

1) Start exercising and get out of this downward spiral of eating disorder.
2) Start blogging again. (I sort of find it difficult to start writing articles again)
3) Do some reading of specific tech. topics which I like
4) Learn Chinese
5) Learn Python.

Woot! I need a time-table. =x

What a hectic and torturous semester! I spent the last few weeks sleeping less than 4 hours a night, trying to finish all the projects and at the same time, try to study for my exams.

Finally, semester has officially ended!

The most hurtful thing comes in words. It pierces through your heart and leave a bruise that will probably never heal.

I haven't been updating much lately. I've been busy programing my Intel chip to make it work with any other things. A few months back, there were talks that there is a possibility that the U.S is going into recession. Just recently, headlines were spawning all around saying that there is a consensus that the U.S will go into recession. Sadly, recession has already hit the U.S and we'll probably feel the impact really soon (in half-a-years time max?). And I'd probably graduate in the midst of the recession period.

So during a recession, people will tend to spend less and when people spend less, companies/firms tend to produce lesser to meet the demands. Hence, there is lesser need for a large workforce which they had during "good times" and I'd expect less recruitment ads or jobs available. Now what?

It means that I'd probably be jobless when I graduate and it'll be difficult for me to find a good-paying job as I have to compete for that smaller job pool with a greater supply of workforce (counting those who got retrenched). So where does a fresh graduate with no or little experience stand in the pool of labour consisting of more experienced labour?

My only bet is for the U.S to bounce out of recession real soon but hopes fading away as economists believe that the U.S will get out of the recession earliest by 2010.

Well I guess I have to be mentally prepared that my pay will not be as good as what engineers are getting now when I look for jobs next year. And I have to be mentally prepared for changes in the economy as what is "hot" today in my engineering line might just be lukewarm tomorrow.

Well, I could join the civil service and be a civil servant. But that's the last place I'll go to (last resort when desperation sets in) given the character that I posses.

The near-future looks quite grey and fuzzy. It certainly looks very gloomy. However, a good news is that economists believe that the recession will not be as bad as what we felt back in the late nineties. Heads-up no matter what happens.